Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
