i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
