We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
