you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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