he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
