Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
As shirtless as possible
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
