I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
