I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
