every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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