Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She said her name was "party"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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