Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
