its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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