You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
id be glad to
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
