Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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