I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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