pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
