I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
