I smell stomach acid.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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