Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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