me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
