I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
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Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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