Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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