1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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