HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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