Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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