I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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