I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
