the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
