My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
