Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
