Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize