If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
