I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
