Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
