Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
