Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think I just sharted jello shots
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