i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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