U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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