3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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