Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
