Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
