woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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