I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
