David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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