also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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