do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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