i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize