Do vagina's smell?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
