sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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