well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
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