if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You can't special order awesome
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
