I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
