oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
