I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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