words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
