ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
