Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
